Dirty blood, baited breath & asking ...."Does this kidney make me look fat?"

On Monday, a mother of 2 boys tumbled down a bunny slope somewhere in Canada. After her tumble she bounced up & walked back to her room, shooing away any help, probably embarrassed of the tumble. By Monday night just a few hours after her fall, her brain was dead, her body carefully kept alive by beeping machines, pumping her blood & pushing air into her lungs.

This wife,mother of 2 boys, brilliant actress Natasha Richardson was flown into New York to die with family crushing around her. Wednesday she was declared officially dead.

Yesterday a mother died.

Yesterday, my great friend of 19 years received a call..."we found a kidney for you."

Yesterday, hopefully my great friend had a bright, shiny, healthy kidney tucked into her body. A kidney that was donated by someone who just recently died. Someone who was loved, someone who's death crushed the joy out of friends and family. I'd like to think Mrs. Natasha Richardson gave her kidney to my friend. My friend is all drama, flair & kindness. Natasha Richardson's kidney would be quite at home in my friend!

Of course we may never know who gave my friend her new kidney. I doubt it was Natasha Richardson. I don't even know if she was a organ donor. But someone was. I hope that persons family get a sliver of pride & happiness knowing the death of their loved one is not in vain. As rehearsed as it sounds...the truth is...a piece of their loved one lives on in a vibrant, funny, intense, passionate, faithful, friendly, kick-ass women. Someone who will treat their new kidney with kindness. Someone who might even give a pet name to their new little organ. I hate that people have to die, to give others life. But I will be eternally grateful to those who choose organ donation.

I sit here now with baited breath. Waiting to hear how the surgery went. Waiting to hear if the kidney was really put into her. Once, a few years ago, she got "the call". Rushed her into surgery, cut her open & the Dr. mistakenly thought she had cancerous growths on the site & didn't put in the kidney. Yeah...that sucked! But now....right now she might be drugged up with a new kidney. I can only hope & wait.

Hopefully my friend will have a kidney that decides to stay awhile. Then she can ask me (after her body swells to a nice plump from all the steroids she will have to take for the rest of her life) "Does this kidney make my ass look fat?"
Hopefully I can say "It sure does make it look phat! You wear that kidney well my friend."

Bite my crunch!

A few weeks ago I experienced a rude drive-by-shout-out. Ya know, a drive-by...when someone walks past you saying something stupid to you. They then keep on walking because they don't have the balls to "argue" their point.



Let me set the scene. I was in Wal-Mart shopping for paper products for a dance/ chili cook off event. I have been planning parties for large groups of people for 4 years now. I know what works & I know what doesn't work. Paper plates....don't work. Styrofoam plates...do work. Imagine this. A room filled with up to 180 people. Most of these people are children. Now, place a paper plate filled w/ food into the hands of these 180 people & see what happens. Can you see it? Food plopping to the ground. I have seen it, I have cleaned it & I have cried over it. So for my budget, Styrofoam plates & bowls always win. My budget doesn't allow me to buy 20 tough paper plates for the price of 200 Styrofoam plates.



So know you know me & my thinking system. When people are butt holes & do a drive-by-shout-outs, they don't know the person or what their thinking process is. That's why drive-bys are the product of rude morons who couldn't think their way out of a Styrofoam cup!



So I'm minding my own business, filling my cart w/ things I will need. 200 spoons, 200 cups, 200 Styrofoam bowls"humm should I get the small plates or big? Hummm well if...."





"YA KNOW PAPER IS BETTER FOR THE ENVIRONMENT! YOU SHOULDN'T BUY STYROFOAM. EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT!"



I looked up to see mister butt hole & his goggling eyed girlfriend speeding away sneering at me over their shoulder. So I LOUDLY replied "Hey honey, when YOU feed 200 people & YOU clean up after 200 people, YOU would realise that Styrofoam works way better the paper. Oh & like I would take environment advice for a dude who shops at

WAL-MART!"



Idiot!



What I really wanted to say, but didn't have time to was.



"Hey jack smack, You don't want to mess w/ my crunch, because I will out crunch you. So ya wanna play this game do ya?

Well, did you know that my family of 6 probably produces less trash then you & your girlfriend combine. We put one, 35 gallon garbage pail out every week....did I mentioned I have 6 in my family...you do know how to count right? Or did you learn for liberal puppets about "how to save the Earth" & we all know they come from the school of " do what I say, not as I do"



I garden & freeze my produce.



I shop at Goodwill & donate to Goodwill. I also have a clothing circle for my kids cloths. My friends pass clothing back & forth to each other like kids pass colds.



I compost



I recycle



I breastfed all 4 of my kids.



I cloth diapered 2 of those kids.



I used homemade cloth wipes to wipe their baby butts.



I home birthed 2 of those kids. Not much waste from that. one small garbage bag of trash was all that was left..unlike a hospital birth that produces huge amounts of waste from 1 birth.



I used cloth pads...yeah, ya heard me. Top THAT you jerk. Oh I see your girlfriend getting wobbly, "What honey, you can't handle the thought of washing out pads? But think of all that landfill you generate each year by your products because your too scared of get'n down & natural. You probably don't want to know what I did with the soak water...that's too much for the widdle nature girl to handle."



Listen, I love the environment. I have been recycling ever since I was a teen. In fact I DRIVE my recycling to drop spots because my town doesn't pick it up. I can't stand Al Gore, I can't stand talking heads, I can't stand liberal, family hating freaks, I can't stand dudes who shout out to me in WAL-MART that I should not buy Styrofoam!



Funny thing is...I don't really care what you do. If your recycle, fine. If you bottle feed, fine. If you hate Goodwill, fine. If you throw out mounds of garbage, fine. God has given us this Earth to care for. We are doing a so-so job at it.(Try living in New York circa 1880. You want filth & pollution...please honey, 2009 we are living in the cleanest environment ever...learn some history...ooo I forgot, liberals don't teach real history) But I do feel we will only get better at reducing waste, clean energy (sorry, there is no such thing) supporting local farmers. Down sizing our frivolous spending. etc, etc.



Do one one thing that will help your environment & then do one even better.



Help those around you. Be kind to those around you. We spend so much time telling people what to do for the Earth we have lost the importance of people & good manners. So drive-by-fool, your momma would be ashamed of you. Don't be rude to me or others & maybe, just maybe I won't put you in your place in front of your girlfriend.

Now go wipe your ass that I just handed to you with a cloth wipe!