My mom was...how shall I put this....HOT. As a child I would break into her stash of pictures & stare in wonder at her black & white world. I loved the dress, the hair styles, the really high waisted pants her brother would wear. I became to despise the tacky day-glow ugly around me. I relished dressing in a manner that was more elegant & civilized. Uggg, the 80's...I was SO not into the fashion! Gag me with a spoon! In my mothers pictures I saw beauty & refinement.
Some would say I have Mother Issues....nooooo REALLY? And believe me...it's not because I had to pick out what dress my dead mother would have to wear in her pink casket....oh no. It had more to do with the image I had to life up to. Did I mention my mom was HOT?
How HOT was she?
She was so HOT she had no idea she was hot.
She was so HOT, even when she was 50 she got slapped on the bum walking down the street!
She was so HOT she was a model.
My Mother was a model....how could I compete?! ( her modeling career lasted one magazine article & one newspaper picture, but STILL!)
So excuse me if I have mother issues. After you see my proof, you will understand me better. And hopefully feel sorry enough for me to take me out for Sushi so I can wipe my tears with a napkin covered in Wasabi paste!
Mother, you are loved....even if you were HOT!
Here is my darling mom as the coveted "Yellow Pages Girl". Work that lawnmower! I remember my mom & I laughing so hard at this picture. I love the awkwardly bent finger. She said that finger pose was a doozy! I think she got paid 50 cents.
Here is a portfolio picture. She hated this picture. Why? Cuz she was "fat". I was shocked when I heard that. Look at her! Girl got some meat on her....& it's prime rib! My Dad & I thought she was perfect. Just goes to show you girls had issues with their body image that go wayyyy back.
AWWWWWW YEAHHHHH! Hey! Stop ogling my mother! Who can rock a plunging, orange jumpsuit? My mom, that's who! I swear she dressed that way just to piss off her mother....who can't even look at the camera. Awesome!
I love this photo! My 12 year old mom at the Boardwalk with her beloved father. She's so cute! Her red hair plopped on her little head! Her little bathing top! Her huge bathing bottoms that look like granny panties! Love, love it! Now if you would please direct your gaze to her "popped" knee. She how she pops it out across her other knee. That is her secret to a good pose. She learned early how to arrange her body. So next time you feel a little self conscience about your picture being taken....do the sassy "knee pop" you can't go wrong!
I....am not...knee popping. See the difference? 12 year old mom...knee pop=cute. Me...12 years old....sans knee pop=tragic. Don't let this happen to you. I know you all love the macrame bikini & you can't get enough of that eye sore. Well not to fear little campers....my next blog installment will be "The great & horrible & sad & scarring experience of the Bikini of death!!!!" Where I shall tell you all about my bikini shame. Stay tuned!
One word...stunning. This little hot tamale is my mom....at 17 years old. Yeah...I know. P.S...I still have those earrings w/ matching glass necklace. Be jealous.
Would you like to see me at 17?
Wait for it.
Waitttttt for it.
GOOD Heavens! Agggg! WHY? WHYYYYY? Do you SEE why I have issues? DO YOU?! 
Lets' cleanse our eyeball pallet & end on a good note....& not a note that will be burned into your nightmares. Shake it off...shake it off!
You need not worry. My mother's lessons have paid off. I "knee pop" when I am unsure about how I look right before that picture is snapped. I fake confidence because it forces my shoulders back. I push my boobs out when I walk, because she said it will make me walk taller. That...was hard "Mom! I feel lewd! This is obscene! I feel stupid!" (Note to self...when your boobs point down to your navel...don't push out your almost 40 year old boobs.....lest you end up sticking your tummy out. Just pretend they are up where they were when you where 17....so...soooo long ago) But sure enough...she was right. In fact....she was right about everything she told me. So thanks mom for all the good advice. You...were right.
6 comments:
You are both gorgeous! Love the short hair by the way (seriously it's cute)!
Uh! We have to get you into print! Your mom was rockin' the Charlie's Angels look and many others. What a gift those pictures are.
And you are beautiful by the way...because you aren't afraid to be you.
I love you so much! I just get all giddy when you have a new post. Your mom was definitely a beauty and...YOU ARE TOO!!! The comparisons of the 17 year old photos cracks me up! The thing is...if you would have been all made up like your mom was in black and white...you would have looked just as fab! Early 90's fashion/hair was horrible! Love the last photo...your hair is really cute like that! Love your blog...I can't get enought...write more!!!
I usually think like Stacey, I love her blog posts SO much, I wish that she would write more. But if you wrote more, then I would probably weary of your greatness.
You're both rockin' hotties, by the way.
You know, I have stopped blogging because of you! LOL I can't compete with you! LOL You are freakin awesome! Can I pay you to blog? That would make not cry every day missing you. Who is going to be my denial partner? Who is gonna take me out for hot chocolate in the middle of the night (ok not the middle of the night but it made for a good story!) I think I would have LOVED your momma! But ask Andrea, our momma was hot too! You rock that bikini! Thom said it looks like Logan in a bikini or the one where you were rockin the awkward Weird Al look! All I have to say is that you are gorgeous and you have WAY better back in the day photos than me for sure!
This cracked me up - because - MY MOM ALSO DID A YELLOW PAGES AD!!! lol
FWIW, you are SMOKIN'!
(It's me - sue marks btw - my LJ name changed>)
Post a Comment