I laugh in your Disturbed face - Part 6

Mom's dead...check.

Dogs feed..... check.

Got Dad standing upright...check.

Next order of business on the day of my mothers death...call...my...friends.

Let me just say....having to call your buddies to tell them "Hey, my Moms been promoted to Subterranean Truffle Inspector" Is...not...cool. It's uncomfortable & weird. But it had to be done. For I was all geared up to go camping w/ some girlfriends in the Dells. But now I couldn't go....oh nooo, Mom had to awake to life immortal & leave me to tend to death crap. Uggg so unfair!

My friends were good friends, who knew my mom had cancer. So it wouldn't be a surprise to them that she died...right? Ummmmm, wellll.

Deep breath.
Exhale.
Pick up phone.
Dial Noel.
Tell her I can't go camping.

"Hello?"

"Hey Noel, listen...I can't go camping this weekend."

"What? But we always go camping? Why can't you go?"

Crappppppp. The words didn't want to form. How can I tell her this...oh geez is she going to cry? I can't take this!

"Well.....ummmmm...Iiiiii."

"Jen, are you ok?"

I don't quite know what happened. It was devastating. It was horrifying. And it was down right hilarious. I...started...to...giggle...then laugh....hard. I paniced! Here I was calling my friend to tell her my mom died & I'm LAUGHING?!

"Noel, "giggle" I... "breath innn" It's Mom..."Bawwwwhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!" (Insert laugh here. Uncontrollable laughing... so hard that I can't breath & tears are running down my face) She DIED today..."HEheheheheheheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

"Oh my Gowd Jen...are you...LAUGHING?!"

Panicked, I try to make it sound like I'm crying, but it comes out as a weird meowing sound.


"You are laughing...what the hell is wrong with you?! Your moms dead?! Is this some sort of joke?!"

Poor Noel was so upset. She starts to cry on the phone over the devastating news that her friends mother is worm food & I am laughing so hard I swear I hear a rib pop. I lie & tell her it's hard to talk & could she please pass the word on to our friends.

Oh to laugh. Such a beautiful cathartic thing. I was so...tired of CRYING. The laughter took me by surprise I must admit. It felt so good, but so wrong!

The next few days were a whirl wind. Calls were put out to family. Dad & I trudged off to buy a coffin (very expensive & very PINK...really Dad? Really?) Write an Obit. Order a head stone. Talk to the church. Call her work. Pick out her clothes. (I dressed her in a horrible school marm outfit. It was dark blue w/ tiny bunches of flowers on it....my Mom will kill me for that) Call the funeral director about 5 times trying to get things right.

Calls you never want to have to make....here is a sample.

"Hello funeral director guy. Yeah it's me again...Jenny. Yeah...um you told me to pick out clothes for moms viewing. Yeah...ummm...do I need to pick out ...underpants?"

Yes......really...I did make that call. And if you are wondering, mom went commando. Well, the director said I didn't need to bring undies...or shoes...or stockings if I didn't want to. (But I do need to pick out a bra...ummm...ok) Her feet wouldn't show...& he had underthings already there. Or DID he? I didn't have much faith in the man because...well remember back ....this is the same man who probably looked at my mom after her death makeover & ok'ed it. Her wig was on BACKWARDS & she had on PURPLE eye makeup on. 2 words for you...... GAR-ISH. "Good job Fred. Your make up application is like art. You have successfully turned this poor 51 year old women who's body was ravished by cancer into a painted whore. It's beautiful work Fred. Brings a tear to my eye."











I really hope Mom wasn't commando...but I did think about it...all...day...long. Her...in her PINK casket....quite possibly pantie-less. Easy breezy.









I laugh to myself over the thought. Soon tears stream down my face. My belly hurts from trying to stuff my gut busting laughter into my bowels . Shoulder shake. Eyes squint. Tears, Tears.








Beautiful laughter.





Whispers float around me.





"Poor Dear, she's so shook up. So hard to lose a mother."









Thank the Lord these women think I'm crying. If they only knew...if they only knew.

Mom approves panty humor...no really, she does.

Would this face lie about panty humor? I don't think so.