Satan's preferred bodily fluid...vomit

The Purple juice letting happened on a Thursday. Juice every where, but by the grace of OxiClean...most of the stains were removed.

The pitcher of "DEVIL JUICE" was still in the fridge in the morning. Friday morning. I was too mad at it to serve the rest for dinner....so it laid in wait for me...knowing I would summons it. Now I will say, I heard my thoughts-Holy Ghost-Intuition-Murphy's Law-Fairie voices (whatever you want to call it) say to me

"Throw out the juice...do it now."

But me being frugal, stubborn & irritated that my head was talking to itself...did not throw away the juice. It was brand new juice. I can't just dump a pitcher full of juice down the drain...what a waste!

My bad.

I should have listen.

But Nay...I didn't.

& I was punished!!!

Mid morning, Friday...in the mist of kids running around my house screaming (they had no school that day & every vagabond was in my house) My 3 year old daughter asked for a cup of juice.

"Don't DO IT!'

Shut up voice...go yell at these kids in my house to GET OUT because I'm too tired.

I pour my daughter a cup of juice, she drinks it, puts the cup on the table & goes on her merry way....into the basement...where there is new carpet. 4 minutes later I here "ummmmm, Mrs. M.....your kid just barfed every where...& it's PURPLE."

DANG NAB IT!

Sure enough as I head out of my bedroom I hear my charming trucker of a daughter upchuck on my stairs. As I enter the hallway, I see her...in slow motion...run down the hall towards the bathroom. She projectile vomits all over the floor & wall. Purple grape juice vomit everywhere. Now remember, she is RUNNING down the hall (with wood flooring) as she vomits.....she then runs through the vomit, slips & slides through the trail of vomit, ending up belly first....in vomit. She essentially covers her whole body with....vomit. Like how a dog rolls around in a dead, smelly carcass of a dead smelly animal....yeah...it was great.

I scoop her up & plop her in the bathroom to have her refuse to puke in the nice clean toilet, so I bent her over the bath tub to let lose another torrent of vomit...all over the bath toys.

I shiver when I think of the wake of torment she left all over the house.

At this time..all the dang nab it kids & their friends want lunch. I....b.l.e.w. my lid.

"YOU... DON'T leave this bathroom."!
"YOU!... You want food...get..it..yourself...or...go...home.!"
"YOU!... Get your own food or go to his house to eat his food!"
"All of you...don't...come...near...the...vomit. Don't talk about the vomit. Don't look at the vomit. No more TALKING!"

A neighborhood boys asks. "what can I do for you?"

I say "ya can shot me in the head." (probably not the most grown up thing to say to a 11 year old.)

Neighborhood boy "You're funny Mrs. M. No really. Let me help you. I'll feed all the kids."
So crazy, loud, most of the time annoying neighborhood boy wrangles all the kids. Helps with my sons to make lunch. Then herds everyone outside...to leave me with peace...& vomit..& a crying 3 year old bent over the bathtub.

At that moment I felt relief. I felt even..dare I say it..loved. My daughter needed me. The crazy neighborhood kid respected me enough to help. And my sons entertained their other sister so I could clean.

AND clean I did. I even calmed down enough when neighborhood kid came back in the house & asked if he could clean the vomit...(because he knew how) I was able to tell him "I can do it Sweetie..thanks for helping with the kids."

So if you hear that still small voice to throw away the juice...DO IT. Take the neighborhood kid up on his offer to help. And take the bath toys out of the bathtub...just in case. The fight with the purple grape juice ended after I threw it out. Although my battle with vomit waged on...for 3 more days.

Lesson learned...no more purple grape juice!