It started as a small spot. My eyes went right to it. A small PURPLE drop...on my couch. 100% PURPLE grape juice. Terror struck my bones as my eyes were drawn to another splotch on the couch pillow...Then to the horizontal blinds....then to the floor...then to the coffee table legs.....Sweet Mother of Colonel Munster!
The kids...with sippy cups...running free in my house. What horrors have they unleashed? I found the culprits down stairs, playing with cars, dinosaurs & Polly Pockets...their sippy cups lay on the carpet. Calmly I told them sippy cups must remain upstairs. They pretended not to hear me & I walked away with the blood pounding in my head.
Upstairs...more carnage. 100% PURPLE grape juice trailed down the hall. The juice was splattered up my door. "How the he$$ did that happened?" I studied the door & imagined the CSI team reenacting how the juice was flung & at what velocity. My room....juice splashed up the wall, closet door & on my bed spread. Little sprays of juice...as if some one had stabbed a chicken as it flew around the room.
Not done....
My daughter's bedroom...on the blankets, the clump of cloths on the floor, pillow case & the bed skirt (really, the bed skirt? How did that happen?!)
Holding back tears I stomped through the house dropping all kinds of F bombs & muttering under my breath all sorts of words that would make my merchant marine father quite proud. Only to pull the mask of composure over my face when a stray 2 year old wandered upstairs to get a snack
I set to work cleaning the offending stains. Much to my relief... most of the juice can out. All thanks to praying, swearing, cursing, cold water, hydrogen peroxide, spray in wash, more swearing & Oxyclean. The walls & doors are permanently stained...but as long as I don't look at them, I can't see the stains!
At lunch I made a point not to serve the kidlets 100% PURPLE grape juice or put anything in sippy cups. The juice was safe in the fridge, where it could harm no more...or could it?
Note to self....when you hear a little voice in your head saying "Hey.....heyyyyy, throw away the juice! Pour it down the drain...do it nowwwwwww"
Don't ignore it
You will regret it
BADLY
Listen to the voice!
But that's a story for another day.
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3 comments:
Hilarious - as always!! Try apple juice...diluted.
You just confirmed why I never buy grape juice.
My thought here is what is getting all over the house that we can't see because it isn't purple?
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